From joy of retirement to retiring hurt

By April 3, 2019 Retirement & Work

Here is a funny take on retirement from a retired serviceman which we are sure many of our retiree friends will relate to. Enjoy the read. Team RetyrSmart

From joy of retirement to retiring hurt

Retirement blues hit hard with regards to authority, power and command. My successful culmination of the Army innings was celebrated in a befitting manner by my wife. A surprise holiday with designer outfits and footwear from her own savings touched my heart. First three months after retirement were memorable, as I was pampered to the hilt — my favourite dishes, visits to my relatives, golf at will.

But the scale tilted over the next three months: I dug my own grave. Considering myself a management guru, I thought I could contribute to household management too. My first advisory was to the kitchen staff with regards to salt, sugar, cleanliness, personal hygiene and maintenance of appliances. Result — cook with a long face.

The second advisory was to the maali in connection with the pruning of plants. Suggestions for rooftop garden, fruit plants and homegrown organic vegetables were put across in a confident and forceful manner. Result — sarcastic smile by maali.

The third advisory was to the washerman on not mixing clothes, cautioning him about heavy press and use of papers to be put into the folds of shirts. Result — nobody had ever complained about his work, he said.

The fourth advisory was to our man Friday-cum-dog handler. He was told about vehicle maintenance, cold start, dos and don’ts and use of headlights at night. He was told about the pet’s diet and exercise schedule. The overweight dog had to be brought to the ideal weight. Result — a frowning driver; and a starving dog.

I tried breaching the last of the ‘citadel’ — getting my wife to my ways. I started advocating her the advantages of having light meals at night, keeping pace with economic developments, time management, attire and being accommodative to impromptu visits by my friends and relatives. My golfing outings should be seen in the correct perspective, as I will be fit and have longevity which will be good for the family.

Soon, I was struck by a tsunami. The maali and the washerman told memsahib that they were overworked and we should look for an alternative. Cook said he would be going to his native place for some marriages in the family. The pet was taken to a vet, who said it was emotionally disturbed and not liking somebody’s presence in the house.

Then came the big advisory from the wife: ‘Go and do something constructive for yourself and society. Stop interfering in household chores…the dog has stopped eating and if he dies the onus will be on you! Give space to everybody by having a routine….Stop giving orders to the workers. Nothing will change till I give approval.’

Realisation came soon. I started my second innings by starting a venture where my wife became the ‘principal adviser’. Now all are happy and my wife has started pampering me again. There is a big difference between ‘retirement’ and ‘retiring hurt’.

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